I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
