Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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