Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
