the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize