they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
