So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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