At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm too high and old for this...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
