The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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