Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
