I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize