I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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