I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
