cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
