How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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