if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
