i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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