I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
