if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize