she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
