College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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