yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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