It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
