she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
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One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
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Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.