Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.