Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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