ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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