I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize