i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
