So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
