I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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