He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
