david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
