He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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