No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
