tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
