Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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