My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
