Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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