Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
