I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
