We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
