I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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