Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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