just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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