Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize