so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dicks are not precious.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
