but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
