he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
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Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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