She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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