she was so not down for the gang bang
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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