We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
