new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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