haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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