do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
