oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
