therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
