I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
