whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
