I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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