he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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