he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
