He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
