the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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