I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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