girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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