i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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