So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
