: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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