That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
there is glitter all over my balls
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