we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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